Letting Go of Expectations
We all have expectations. Whether we're conscious of them or not, they guide our decisions and shape our view of the world. And while having expectations can be helpful in some ways, it can also lead to frustration, disappointment, and even pain.
Leaders often face the challenge of unmet expectations. If you are a leader, it's important to remember that you can't always control what happens in any given situation, and even when you put your best effort into something, there may be times when things don't turn out as planned. Unmet expectations can be extremely frustrating for leaders who have invested time and energy into a project or an employee only to find out that their efforts were not enough.
If you're someone who tends to set high expectations for yourself and others, you might be familiar with that feeling of falling short. Maybe you didn't close an important deal or your team failed to show up for you. Whatever the case may be, it's not always easy to let go of our expectations. But if we want to live happier, more fulfilled lives, it's essential that we learn how to do just that. Here are a few tips to help you let go of your expectations:
Give yourself grace.
It's important to remember that no one is perfect and mistakes will happen — so it's essential that we learn how to give ourselves grace when our expectations are not met. Likewise, it's important to give others grace when they also let us down. Doing so can help us move on from the disappointment, live happier lives, and set healthier boundaries for ourselves in the future.
Reset and reexamine.
It's important to take a step back and examine the purpose of our expectations. What do we want to achieve by setting this expectation? Is it realistic, given the resources available? Are there any other potential solutions that could help us reach our goal without relying on an expectation?
Once you've answered those questions, it might be time to reset your expectations. Take a look at what is actually achievable in the current situation, rather than trying to force something that may not work. By doing so, you can avoid disappointment and frustration while still working towards achieving your goals.
Eliminate negative thought patterns.
When our expectations are not met, it's natural to feel disappointed. But if we let that disappointment turn into negative thinking or self-talk, it can have a damaging effect on both our mental and physical health. Negative thinking can lead to blaming ourselves or others for things out of our control or focusing on what could have been done differently instead of looking at what went well.
Negative phrases such as, "I'm a failure," or "she is the weakest link on my team," are in direct conflict with empathy and compassion. Unfortunately, this type of thinking can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, leading us further away from achieving our goals.
In life, expectations can be helpful in guiding decisions and shaping our view of the world. However, unmet expectations can leave us feeling frustrated and disappointed. Leaders must learn to recognize when their expectations are not being met, and how to cope with that disappointment in healthy ways. This includes giving oneself and our team grace, resetting expectations, and staying positive with our words and our actions.
